Mike Leaves for Fargo

Sunday April 22, 07
His car is packed. The weeks of anticipation, waiting for this day are over. It is a cool and cloudy typical spring 'Oregon' day. He is leaving early. We have our 'normal' breakfast together, yet nothing feels normal. It is time. Time for him to go. He gives me a big warm hug and kiss. I am having trouble feeling anything. I follow him out to the garage and stand there in my blue robe and wave good-bye. I blow him kisses. I watch his car drive away.I turn and walk back into the house and feel a profound sense of loss. I realize the life we had here, in this place, in this house, with our children, our friends, our cycling..it is all over. And, it was good -it was very very good. It will never be the same. I wander around the house wondering what I should do next. I try to get 'busy' but can't go into our bedroom or see Mike's closet empty. I wonder why we ever chose to do this. I am alone and he feels so very far away. Some people may read this and think wow what a baby - you will only be apart for a few months. But what they may not understand is that we did everything together. And, for today I am overcome with the memories of the life we built here together.