Week One

Monday April 30, 07
I have cried a million tears this week. It is hard to move my head into the future. I am stuck here. I can't really say exactly what I did all week. The days are a blurr of normal activities - the things Mike and I did together. And then not so normal things like going through the history of our life together and packing it up or packing up Mike's side of the closet. I have spent the past few days working so hard at getting the house ready to sell that at night I am weary. I am trying to plan out my days so I know what I have to do. Mike is dealing with his challenges too. Like driving away from me, from our house, from Oregon. Away from everything he has ever loved. He is alone in a new town with none of his familiar surroundings and the challenge of a new job. This is so much harder and emotional than we ever imagined. We both got fooled into thinking that it would be fun to have an adventure and meet new people. Right now this is not fun. I knew it would be hard...but not this hard. I know that out of hard things comes beauty and grace and things unexpected. I do need to say that while this is painful and difficult we are not facing the super hard things like being diagnosed with cancer or sending your husband off to war one month after your first baby is born. Those are the truly gut-wrenching life events. But pulling up deep roots cannot be done without some pain and sorrow. Today I recognize how truly blessed Mike and I are and how much we have to be thankful for. And, I miss him every minute.